My foray into the corporate world – Prologue

As we grow older, the frequency of “firsts” comes down drastically. This causes us to really look forward to newer things and experiences. I am on the verge of yet another crucial juncture in my life – My First Job. With THE day coming closer, I’m finding it difficult to contain my nervous excitement. How often have you heard people around you telling, “The experience you get at work is invaluable”? I think I am feeling it already.

For starters, I have come to realize that getting a job isn’t the tough part. It’s actually a piece of cake compared to the formalities you have to go through before joining the job. This in turn made me realize that I shouldn't trust the movies. In a movie, what we get to see in an interview scene is that, indubitably the protagonist gets the job and the interviewer adds, “Congratulations! You got the job. Join us from tomorrow”. Wait! Doesn't he have to go through all the formalities which would take him a thousand days? This simplistic approach of such filmmakers didn’t help my cause. You bloody incompetent movie men!

See, I am getting wiser already.

In the last one month, I have been preparing my set of documents as listed in the 6 ft long check list.

My document set includes:

a)      “Did you pass your grade 10^th and 12^th exam?” certificates. Dude! How would I go to college otherwise?

b)      “So you went to college, eh?” certificate.

c)       “I don’t believe you got through all your semester exams. Give proof” certificates.

d)      “Can you read a foreign language and still find the place you need to sign” document. This is the service agreement which went on for 5-6 pages, in the legalese created by lawyers to impose upon the world their importance.

e)      “You got to pay up if your son messes with us” document. Yeah, this was for my dad. What follows this is a series of documents that proves that my dad is “really” my dad. Oh and also if he has the money to pay up.

f)        “I think you’re a crook, scoundrel and a thief if you won’t sign this” document to prove that I have no criminal cases pending against me.

g)      “Swear that you didn’t cheat on me” document to let em know that I didn't take up a job in the months of uncertainty they left me post graduation. How insecure are you?

h)      “We have our eyes on you” document. The background check which states that they would stalk the hell out of me and dig out my past if need be and a countless more documents, that I just can’t remember at this point. 

In addition to this, I gave the biometric impression of my fingers at a security agency, needed  photocopies of all these documents attested by a gazetted officer, a few notarized and finally, signatures of a couple of witnesses, a doctor, few by dad and a thousand million by me. Phew!

However, for my support, I always had something which got me working on these documents with a smile. Every time I found I had something else work related to do, I would coax myself by saying, “Dude, you are going to be paid for this shit eventually”, and suddenly the work would seem a lot simpler. If there are any parents reading this, remuneration can be a great motivator. 

After all this, I am ready and in the city where I have my first REAL job. The next challenge in line is finding a place to stay. I’ll keep you updated on how that went.

Disclaimer: Especially if you are my boss at TCS. I love you and TCS and I am just about willing to do anything to satisfy you guys. I think you are just AWESOME and I am ready to go through a million more documents if it makes you happy.

Click here to go the next part: My foray into the corporate world - Post Prologue