From a year to another...

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Come end of December and everybody is in a mood to celebrate. The end of a year and the beginning of a new year could mean different things to different people. For some, it is a reason to celebrate the events of the year that went by and hope for a better year ahead. Few others, would consider it as an opportunity to start afresh, learning from the mistakes of the past, or dealing with a tragedy and taking this as an opportunity to move ahead with life. Or you could be one who wants to have a good time as this is the season when the best parties ensue and of course, there has to be the set of people for whom it is, “just another day”.

The run up to the new year is inundated with stereotypical events which haven't changed much since 1956. Magazines run a recap of the year’s major events, TV channels line up specials, marathon super hit movies, Victoria secret’s fashion show and so much more. How much do you think one can take in at one time? I can’t even enjoy a single program without wondering if I’m missing out something better.

Resolutions are made (and broken within 48 hours), drinks are drunk, dances are danced and everybody is happy and gay. However, how often do we look back at the year and think, “Okay, these are the important things that happened to me this year and will leave a lasting impression in my life”? I don’t know about you but I haven’t so far, so I’m going to do it this year and I am going to share it with you. I invite you to do the same. Let’s all see, if we do have a life after all.

My year in 2010:

• The year started off on quite an exciting note. I had my first job interview ever on 4^th January.

• Got my first job.

• FINALLY, after numerous extensions, gave my GRE (graduate record examinations) and was all set to go to the United States for my masters.

• Decided not to go for my masters and take up the job.

• Changed the plan. Masters was on again.

• Nope! Job it was.

• Finally put my foot down. Planned to take up the job and apply for my masters for the Spring of 2011. Everybody is happy.

• Had the longest break of my life since I was 4, for almost 3 and half months, during which I played so much of so many different sports and more than made up for the lack of it during college.

• In this time, I also tried my hand at blogging. Mom was so surprised initially, she actually thought I had stolen somebody else’s article from the internet. Got a great initial response and here I am, still going strong, thanks to your support and encouragement.

• Realized I enjoyed writing, something I had never imagined.

• Took up the job and threw the masters plan out of the window for a while.

• Got my first salary. Experienced the feeling of financial independence for the first time. Went to Mahabalipuram with friends to celebrate.

• Took parents out to dinner and also got mom something. I assure you, my dad will get his due really soon.

• Been at work ever since.

Ehh...the end! Holy shit! (Actually stuck here for 15 minutes)

That’s it? Well, my life isn’t as boring as the list makes it sound. I did have a crazy amount of fun in the meanwhile and did awful lot of other things too but nothing really important or new, which deserves a mention in this list.

A whole year of my life and to think that this is all I have done, doesn’t feel right. You know that feeling, when you stand in line for 20 minutes to buy a cup of coffee, finally get it, take a sip (feels like heaven), walk a couple steps away and drop it. That’s how I feel right now, except that it’s a million times more severe. At least, I can get back in the line for coffee but who is going to give me these days back. I’m never going to be 21 again.

No point crying over spilt milk, coffee in this case. So instead of being upset, I have made up my mind, that this new year, 2011, I am going to try lots of new things and make the most of my time to ensure that by December 2011, I have a list so long, that it gives anaconda a run for its money.

I wonder how many such years have I let go of. What started off as a casual blog post has got me into some serious thinking. I urge you to take up a sheet of paper, or open a word processor on your computer and make a similar list and see if you face a similar shock or have actually had a genuinely good year, one that you would be proud of. You could even share the list with me and the world to see and discuss the year gone by.

I don’t want this post to sound gloomy or play party pooper in this joyous season of celebration. I am happy to have at least realized what went wrong and realization is half the battle won. Now that half the battle is won, it calls for a celebration. Wooohooo party time!!!

This is Ashish Kalsi aka Gogo, wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas and a very happy and “eventful” new year.

Cheers! 


For cool 2011 wallpapers log onto http://www.webcooltips.com/18-creative-design-happy-new-year-2011-wallpapers.html

MY FORAY INTO THE CORPORATE WORLD – THE TRAINING

Before I start rambling, I have specific messages for my readers. Identify which category you come under and read the appropriate message. I know you are anyway going to peek into all of them so I’m not even going to try and ask you not to.

Regular Readers

The regular readers: Hopefully, a few of you have missed me and I apologize for the inactivity on my blog for almost a month. The corporate world is trying to screw me over but trust me, I’m fighting back.

The not so regular readers but who still like my blog: I’m sure you wouldn’t have even noticed the lack of activity on the blog but I’m back, alive and kicking.

Indifferent Readers

The indifferent lot:  You really think I have a message for you?

The ones who were glad I was gone: Too bad. Party is over fellas.

Now that we are done with the pleasantries, let’s get down to the real business.

The excitement of being in my first job disappeared faster than I change the channel playing ridiculous saas-bahu drama. The training period, as we discovered, was not very different from college, except for a few added advantages, which were neutralized by some new disadvantages. Here are a few of them:

Advantages:

1)    Paid to study. Really helps in motivation.

2)    Totally air-conditioned environment. Conducive to sleeping and passing time faster.

3)     Most time devoted to hands on experience; hence we didn’t have to endure too many boring lectures.

Disadvantages:

1)    CANNOT BUNK! This disadvantage can brush aside the entire advantages single handed.

2)     Need to dress up formally with a tie, 4 days a week. Might not sound like a big deal but it is pretty painful if you are not used to it.

The new boys at work

Since training was quite like college, with most of us actually from the same college, the atmosphere wasn't new or alien. We made the training centre our own. The administration ignored our boisterous and crass behaviour initially, attributing it to excitement of being in a new environment. They were under the impression that things would get back to normal in the course of time. They couldn't have been more wrong – we were just getting started.

The administrators were up for a shocker and I can’t blame them for it. The training centre is usually filled with nervous and scared looking grads, so much so, that trainers have to go out of their way to make these poor fellows feel comfortable.  However, our batch had a stark difference. We were a vociferous and riotous bunch, who were here to have fun while making that little money. A kind they weren’t used to.

The first month went like a breeze- we did our thing, the administrators and HRs did theirs, there was complete harmony in the disharmony. Life couldn't have been better. But what's life without a twist.

Things were beginning to change. There was an unusual silence that day in the office, the kind before a storm. For a second I thought I had come to work on a holiday. However, I soon realised that things were not all okay here. There was a shift in the mood. 

Those few nervous moments

I soon came to know that somebody had complained. It was college all over again – administration on our back, threats, rumours and total drama followed. The training had taken a whole new direction. People walking in groups were stopped and questioned, an idle terminal would require an explanation and that a high profile enquiry would be conducted to find the culprit who spat paan in the dustbin; events that were highly unexpected.

A couple of weeks to go, the exit tests would decide our fate, nobody wanted to mess around. There was an eerie silence in the air; supervisors would take rounds 7-8 times a day; juniors were asked to stay away from our batch or meet our fate.

We spent our last few days amidst threats and warnings, gave our tests and kept our fingers crossed. The “extension list” was quite an anticlimax. Most of the trainees had cleared the tests and would soon be mapped to various projects. Hurray! Not really. We were just waiting to be put on the bench and enjoy a few days of paid vacation.

Right through the training period, we were told, “The training is the honeymoon period, enjoy all you want, this would all change once you get into a project”.

Now that apparent "honeymoon period" is over, let’s see if this marriage is going to be a "lived happily ever after" or end in a divorce. Only time will tell.

Author's note: The other posts in the "My foray into the corporate world" series are

My foray into the corporate world – Prologue

My foray into the corporate world – post prologue

My foray into the corporate world – THE FIRST DAY

The social network – gender paradox

Most people today, live dual lives.

The first one, their real lives, in which they have to deal with recession, pollution, rising onion prices, A. Raja, Bigggg Bosssss (or whatever it’s spelling is) and Rakhi Sawant.

Second, is the virtual life – emails, Google and most important of them all, social networking. With social networking I am talking predominantly about Facebook, which has over 500 million users and growing.

Facebook is no longer a medium where you just keep in touch with friends and have an active pseudo-social circle; you’re living a parallel life. This parallel life has a lot of factors similar to your actual life, like social standing, acceptance and popularity amongst peers. Don’t agree with me?

The notification window

Doesn’t your face light up when you see the red figure on the left top corner of your screen displaying notifications?   

Don’t you get disappointed when you put up a really cool status message, one that you were thinking about the whole day or a profile picture in which you think you’re looking a lot like Brad Pitt, and don’t even get a single “like” or comment?

Doesn’t that tinge of jealousy crop up when you see your friend’s ridiculous status message and pictures having tonnes of “likes” and comments?    

If yes, you would know what I’m talking about. If no, still read on, you’re not being charged for it.

I have no issues when a well deserving status, picture, video, link or any other virtual garbage is appreciated on the basis of content but there is nothing more irritating when people do it for every other reason other than content.

Women’s reservation is a concept I have been hearing about for as long as I remember. My personal opinion about the idea in the real world is immaterial and would undoubtedly create a controversy, so I will choose to abstain from talking about it here. However, in the virtual world, the scene is a lot different and it’s the male gender that’s most vulnerable.

There is a Brobdingnanian* of a difference in a woman’s and man’s virtual life. I’m not going to lecture you like I’m the president of some men’s welfare society fighting for their rights but will merely point out the glaring dissimilarities.

*before you open Google and try finding out what Brobdingnanian stands for, let me help you out. It means Gigantic or Colossal. I was looking for a word worthy of pointing out the discrepancy between the genders and accidently stumbled upon this one.

Still feeling lost? Let me elaborate and elucidate what I’m trying to say with an example.

Example:

Boy’s profile: Talented movie maker, extremely creative, smart, fun, 5 ft 6 inches tall, plump, average looking, blah, blah, blah. He has been working his ass off on a project for the last 6 months and has finally completed all the post production activities and finalizes his trailer.

Excited and filled with anticipation, he puts it up on his fb wall to get some reactions. This is what his wall reads

Iamamoviemakerbutnobodygivesashit: Guys I have finally finished making my movie and I am putting up the trailer. Let me know what you think of it J J

3 hours later, he logs on, curious to see the response the trailer has been garnering.

4 new notifications à Click

Honey Singh found out his year of death and thinks you should find out too.

Anand Sharma, Sneha U like your link.

Mohan has commented on your link.

“Dude! Are you coming for the movie tonight”?

Disappointed and dejected he switches off his laptop, kind of used to this by now.

Girl’s profile: Wearing a mini skirt in her profile picture. Period.


This is what her wall reads:

Iamsohotithinkiamgoingtoburn: Heyyyyyyy fnd this reeeeeeeeeaaaallllllyyyyy cute video of babiezzz making funny faces....awwwww shhhooooo cuuuuttteeeee....muah muah :* :* :* XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

13 nano seconds later...

78 new notifications à Click

Ram, Ram’s brother Raja, Ram’s cousin brother Ravi, Ravi’s younger brother’s friend Rahul, Ram’s father Rajeev and 33 others like your link.

(The comments is where it starts to REALLY get ridiculous)

Krish has commented on your link

“ROFLMYAONAHHEYRMJSLDHRNDKWD!!!! That’s how funny it was :D :D :D awesome stuff...what are you doing on Saturday night?”

Mohan has commented on your link. (Btw, this is the same Mohan from before)

“Awww that was sooooo cute...but I duno which is cuter, the babies or you ;) ;) :P :D (and 30 more smileys)

Aisha has commented on your link.

“Bitch that was shoooooooooo cutie cutie....love you muah muah XOXOXOXOX”

Mohan has commented on your link.

“Hey Aisha. How are you long time no see J J”

Michael has commented on your link.

“Awesome stuff sexy...hey Aisha....you display pic looks really nice...how are you?”

Ali has commented on your link.

“HA HA HAHA soooooo gooood....how have you been?? “

Mohan has commented on your link.

“@Michael-- Stop trying to flirt around with her. ”


Michael has commented on your link.
"@Mohan--- what are you trying to do then?"

.......and it goes on. You see what I’m talking about. There a million other instances I can go on and on about.

I’ve heard guys making some ridiculous statements such as, “She is such a stuck up girl. I “like” everything she puts up but she still never responds to my chats”.

Dude! She also knows what she puts up is stupid. So whom are you kidding?

Technology might have made life easier but you are not going to impress a girl by hitting the “like” button like a maniac and commenting that you find her cuter than kittens, puppies and piglets. Unfortunately, to woo a girl, you still have to do that the old fashioned way.

Before the girls get too pleased, let me clear the air, I’m by no way saying that you are all descendents of Mother Teresa and are all noble. There are girls who do the same but the magnitude is negligible when compared to the weaker sex (in this case, male).

So how do we really overcome this paradox? I thought hard and long, 7 minutes to be precise and came up with the following results. To make this post irrelevant (read solution), I give you two options: 

A)    It’s necessary that we keep aside all temptations and appreciate content solely on the basis of merit OR

B)    The girls would really need to buck up, chat more, poke, flirt (or socialize as G likes to put it), send random friend requests and everything else a lot of guys today do ("the wanna be do franship types), to maintain the equilibrium on the social network (I’m doing these guys a favour here). Not desirable, but a solution nevertheless.

Now that I have given the world the solution to end the gender paradox on the social network, I’m feeling extremely proud and hungry. While I find something to eat, I’d wish you wouldn’t spend too much time thinking about this issue since the virtual world can and will never replace your real world.

I may not be very pretty and might not look hot in a mini skirt but if you like what have just read HIT THE BLOODY “LIKE” button. Let me see if I’ve made my point.

Cheers!!


Disclaimer: 
1) The views expressed in this post are wholly that of the author and you have all rights to disagree. However, all abuses on my comments page will be deleted and you  will face my cyber wrath.


2) All names used in this post are fictional and resemblance to anybody dead, alive, missing or forgotten is purely coincidental and I don't remember what else I am supposed to write here but I hope you get the point.


Cheers!!! 

ENDHIRAN (THE ROBOT)-THE MADNESS UNLEASHED

....Continued from Endhiran (Robot)- The build up

Chennai wouldn’t sleep tonight.

But I did.

As I lay peacefully in my bed having some weird dreams, the true hard core Rajni fans were up and getting ready to go for a movie. The fanatics were up all night bursting crackers, singing, dancing and raising a toast to their God in their usual style, in a plastic tumbler with cheap rum and a banana to go with it. The wait for the movie and the alacrity that comes with it is more fun than the movie itself.

The celebration went on till 4 am - the time for the first show.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t go to such a theatre to witness these scenes but from what I hear, the atmosphere inside is like that of a cricket stadium rather than a movie hall. You wouldn’t get to hear a thing but the entertainment provided otherwise is totally worth it.

The Rajni craze- A garland of sweet lime

I reach office at 2 PM and meet guys who have already seen the movie twice. Half of Chennai had apparently not come to work today. I just couldn’t contain my excitement. It was Friday and I still had 2 days to go for my movie. I decided not to work and celebrate Rajnikanth.

I had the audacity to tell my HR head that I wasn’t going to work that day because I was excited about Endhiran. Instead of being reproached, he asked me, “You got tickets?” Proudly, I respond, “Yeah, Sunday” to which my HR head says, “That’s so sad! I got tickets for tonight”. The conversation went on for 10 more minutes, much to the shock of my colleagues and trainer.

You see the magic? Thinking about it now, I don’t even know where I got that kind of courage from.

Through the day, I kept hearing stories of hardcore fans and their antics, each more crazy than the previous.

I was getting restless and I am getting restless now so I’m skipping my painful wait and coming straight to THE SUNDAY, my turn to watch Endhiran.

Sunday morning...

The Chennai shared auto

FINALLY the day was here! Excitement was at its prime. M and I got ready and left well before time. Or so we thought. Just as we started, we encountered our first speed breaker - Chennai traffic decided to play party pooper. To make matters worse, we were aboard a shared taxi (the first mode of public transport that came our way), those weird looking vehicles that gives every indication of being a cross between an auto and a mini bus but moves at the speed of a bullock cart. We wouldn’t make it on time. Nothing was going right and it wasn’t a good feeling. All the anticipation, excitement, hype, extra money spent and finally ending up late for the movie seemed just wrong.  

The most exciting part of a Rajni movie is the start, right from the censor board certificate followed by the animated entry of the letters to form the word S-U-P-E-R-S-T-A-R and finally the super dramatic entry of Rajnikanth himself amidst cheers, screams and flying lungis. I really wanted to witness this.

If we continued by the shared auto, reaching the theatre on time was next to impossible, so we got off half way through and decided to hire our very own, personal auto (which is quite a luxury in Chennai).

I ask him, “Anna. Satyam?” (That’s all that is needed to get the message across). The driver gives a nod. “Evalo?” (How much?). He starts with Rs 220 and finally agrees for Rs 40 and we are off (those of you who find this weird, this is how autos in Chennai function. Meters are for aesthetics).

We were still well behind schedule, hope was fast running out and right then M uttered the magic words, “Anna. Sheegram go (Fast go). Movie. Endhiran. Rajnikanth”. I swear to God, everything went into slow motion for the next 20 seconds. Slowly, frame by frame, the auto driver turned to look at us, didn’t say a word and smiled. The smile said it all. In slow motion he turned back to drive, locked the fingers of his hand and made that crackling sound (even that in slow motion), kut kut kut one by one, and that’s when we snap out of the slow motion and also, everything else changed.

Like a man possessed, he revved his engine and drove at a speed that would qualify the auto to race at a formula 3 event. Probably the auto was a Rajni fan too. No obstacle was too big and no turn was too sharp for the driver since he was in charge of the holy duty of making sure we made it in time for the movie of his God. However, we still needed a miracle if we had to reach on time. I did something really strange (I shit you not and I swear this is not made up). I held my hands together (in the Namaste position) and prayed out loud to Rajni (half as a joke and half out of pure desperation). Taking cue, M did the same.

Three minutes left for the movie to start and we were almost there. My other friends were already in the theatre waiting for us. We could actually make it on time. Was this going to be a miracle? One minute to go and I was actually wondering if the driver in his excitement wouldn’t take the money and say that it was just a part of his duty. We reached with 30 seconds to go and driver seemed to lose all the brotherhood and asked for his money. What was I thinking? Anyway, we paid up and rushed towards the theatre hoping that we don’t miss much.

Inside, I see my other friends walking casually towards me. Have they gone crazy? Don’t they want to witness the spectacle at the start? Exasperated, I ask D, “Dude! Why the hell are you out? Hasn’t the movie started already? D starts smiling and realization dawns as I ask, “What time does the movie really start?” and a smiling D responds, “10 more minutes’ macha. I knew you would be late”.

I was annoyed and relieved; and at the same time I couldn’t help but wonder about the prayers we offered in the auto. I didn’t have much time to think about that as we walked towards the screen. We had made it. In a few minutes I was going to experience a movie experience like no other.

No, I wouldn’t describe what went on inside since a Rajnikanth movie on the weekend of its release should definitely be on your “things I need to do before I die” list. It's like a holy pilgrimage that each of you must be a part of at least once in your life time. And for your sake, I hope Rajnikanth makes another movie. If not, my condolences.

If Christopher Nolan could do it in Inception, so can I. So swear all you want, I know the feeling. I did the same after inception. 

Adios