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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My foray into the corporate world – Prologue

As we grow older, the frequency of “firsts” comes down drastically. This causes us to really look forward to newer things and experiences. I am on the verge of yet another crucial juncture in my life – My First Job. With THE day coming closer, I’m finding it difficult to contain my nervous excitement. How often have you heard people around you telling, “The experience you get at work is invaluable”? I think I am feeling it already.

For starters, I have come to realize that getting a job isn’t the tough part. It’s actually a piece of cake compared to the formalities you have to go through before joining the job. This in turn made me realize that I shouldn't trust the movies. In a movie, what we get to see in an interview scene is that, indubitably the protagonist gets the job and the interviewer adds, “Congratulations! You got the job. Join us from tomorrow”. Wait! Doesn't he have to go through all the formalities which would take him a thousand days? This simplistic approach of such filmmakers didn’t help my cause. You bloody incompetent movie men!

See, I am getting wiser already.

In the last one month, I have been preparing my set of documents as listed in the 6 ft long check list.
My document set includes:

a)      “Did you pass your grade 10th and 12th exam?” certificates. Dude! How would I go to college otherwise?
b)      “So you went to college, eh?” certificate.
c)       “I don’t believe you got through all your semester exams. Give proof” certificates.
d)      “Can you read a foreign language and still find the place you need to sign” document. This is the service agreement which went on for 5-6 pages, in the legalese created by lawyers to impose upon the world their importance.
e)      “You got to pay up if your son messes with us” document. Yeah, this was for my dad. What follows this is a series of documents that proves that my dad is “really” my dad. Oh and also if he has the money to pay up.
f)        “I think you’re a crook, scoundrel and a thief if you won’t sign this” document to prove that I have no criminal cases pending against me.
g)      “Swear that you didn’t cheat on me” document to let em know that I didn't take up a job in the months of uncertainty they left me post graduation. How insecure are you?
h)      “We have our eyes on you” document. The background check which states that they would stalk the hell out of me and dig out my past if need be and a countless more documents, that I just can’t remember at this point. 

In addition to this, I gave the biometric impression of my fingers at a security agency, needed  photocopies of all these documents attested by a gazetted officer, a few notarized and finally, signatures of a couple of witnesses, a doctor, few by dad and a thousand million by me. Phew!

However, for my support, I always had something which got me working on these documents with a smile. Every time I found I had something else work related to do, I would coax myself by saying, “Dude, you are going to be paid for this shit eventually”, and suddenly the work would seem a lot simpler. If there are any parents reading this, remuneration can be a great motivator. 

After all this, I am ready and in the city where I have my first REAL job. The next challenge in line is finding a place to stay. I’ll keep you updated on how that went.

Disclaimer: Especially if you are my boss at TCS. I love you and TCS and I am just about willing to do anything to satisfy you guys. I think you are just AWESOME and I am ready to go through a million more documents if it makes you happy.

Click here to go the next part: My foray into the corporate world - Post Prologue

39 comments:

kaustav said...

hey..... good one gogi....i think everyone joining tomorrow felt the same shit..I will never ever forget the experience i had getting that birth certificate done..that too in english..hehe...hey u forgot to mention the 11th grade marksheet as well. (courtesy bholu)...and remember the stamp sized photos hmmm???..lolz...
anyways the disclaimer ws a good one !!!... cheers...

Su said...

Good writing Kalsi.
Funny and informative!! :)
Welcome to the Tata Family!!!

Garry said...

naice....
i'v been wantin to pen down sum thots abt tis fr d past few days ..
but donno y ...
itz not only d excitement but yes the "first" tats kinda diffrent after a loong tym ...

cheers to us guyz ...
lets make it yet another awesom tym in our lyvz....

n captain i lovd d disclaimer ;)
wel written ....

Meghana said...

Hilarious..the smile didnt leave my face!
Amazingly Creative!..:)

Varshaa said...

Wow tht was hilarious. Very you!
loved readin it!

welcome to Chennai!
see u in dec!

mink said...

hahaha gogs! we all go through the same thing that means. i had to go through the same procedure at mysore :) one heck of a time that was trying to the docs notarized and stuff

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Kaustubh--- I bet they did. LOL!!! Funny stuff that was. Bholu is a stud. Might need a whole new post just for that story ;)
Thank you :D Glad you liked it

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Su -- Thank you :)

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Garry--- I hope I have managed to cover your thoughts.
All the best to you too.
And thank you :D

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Meghana--- Thank you :D You are my inspiration

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Varshaa--- Thank you so much :D Looking forward to seeing you

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Mink --- Guess that is how they welcome us all to the corporate world

jayashree swaminathan said...

lol... (jaya's trademark laugh) 'seriously' hilarious :P:P lol!
specially....disclaimer...lol!! ashish style... :):)

Shanky said...

Top notch stuff dude!! LMAO over the disclaimer! Now that u've got in, be the change u wanna see... Make the recruiting process a little more easier on us poor unemployed souls.

ABI said...

dude...d DISCLAIMER was bonkers and sick !!!
:D and ts relli good to have firsts ryt.. i know... and temme all bout wats happening @ WORK 2day..and embrace urself.. :D

isha.. said...

do share your first day experience...... m so excited for all of u.... wish u all lots of luck

suryam said...

Best of Luck, Ashish in your first job. You are lucky that you did not have to get a police verification done as your Dad & all of us went through before joining BHEL. Being a PSU job, that was an essential pre requisite. Please do keep the blog going as your writing is refreshingly entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ashish

Welcome to Common Wealth Games!

kamesh

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Jaya --- I can imagine :P Thank you so much

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Shanky --- thank you man :D
And you not getting a job? I can sense a bit of condescension here :P

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Abi--- ha ha ha thank you :) It sure is
Yeah I will....might probably just write about it ;)

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Isha--- thank you :) Yeah will do that for sure

Ashish Kalsi said...

Mr. Suryam --- Thank you so much.Police verification is probably the only thing that we haven't been asked to go through. I guess I can understand your pain today.
I'm glad you like my stuff. Thank you.

Ashish Kalsi said...

Mr. Kamesh --- I hope it isn't as bad :D

Teja said...

hahahaha brilliant writing mate.....even i went through all those formalities before joining but never knew they are so hilarious.....awesome stuff....waiting for another article describing thee CORPORATE MATERIAL!!

Vishal said...

I didn't think you had so many things to do. Anyways good writing.I think you should write more.

Rakesh Mallya said...

Good Writing. Liked the disclaimer.

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Teja--- Thank you :D I think I'm posting another one tonight...hope I don't disappoint you

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Vishal --- there is a lot more things to do...and it still goes on after joining

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Rakesh --- thank you :D

MONEY MATTERS said...

Interesting read Ashish. . Keep blogging. . :-)

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Money Matters ---- I will, I will :D thank you

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Rakesh --- thank you :D

suryam said...

Best of Luck, Ashish in your first job. You are lucky that you did not have to get a police verification done as your Dad & all of us went through before joining BHEL. Being a PSU job, that was an essential pre requisite. Please do keep the blog going as your writing is refreshingly entertaining.

Vishal said...

I didn't think you had so many things to do. Anyways good writing.I think you should write more.

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Mink --- Guess that is how they welcome us all to the corporate world

Ashish Kalsi said...

@Kaustubh--- I bet they did. LOL!!! Funny stuff that was. Bholu is a stud. Might need a whole new post just for that story ;)
Thank you :D Glad you liked it

Varshaa said...

Wow tht was hilarious. Very you!
loved readin it!

welcome to Chennai!
see u in dec!

Su said...

Good writing Kalsi.
Funny and informative!! :)
Welcome to the Tata Family!!!