The autos of Chennai...

Chennai has become an unexpected second home. I spent 4 years of my college life here and today, I have my first job in the same city. So my love affair with Chennai has been on for 5 solid years and going strong. Do I like the place? Surprisingly, I do. I like a lot of things about this metro but there are certain aspects that irk me. The heat, humidity, people staring at you for no reason at all, making you feel like an orang-utan that has just escaped from the zoo, are a few that I can think of now. But what tops my list, is the autos of Chennai.

Watch out! Here they come.

 I wasn't a big fan of the autos in Hyderabad either. I felt they were rude, irrational, abused too much, would pester you to pay 10 Rupees over what the meter showed and spat a lot. It's only after I came to Chennai did I realise how much I missed my Hyderbadi autos.

The meters might not look like this but
they function the same way.

I'm lost on where to start about the Chennai autos and am a little worried that the list would go too long for your liking. So I'm going to control my emotions and be as sophisticated as possible in handling it. Bloody #*^*%#*^. Yeah! That feels better.

For starters, autos in Chennai don't run on meters. Is there a regulatory body that takes care of pricing? No. Then how do you decide how much to pay? It varies day by day, driver by driver, and circumstance by circumstance. If a driver’s wife has been pestering him to buy her a Saree for a while and he decides to purchase it on the day you are travelling with him, then boy are you in for some serious trouble. You, the customer have got no control on how much you pay. It's solely dependent on their whims and fancy. To make matters worse, irrespective of the destination, it is customary, almost habitual for them to quote a price 5 times the actual cost and it has to be a 3 digit figure. 

The negotiation.

But what takes the cake, is the negotiation process to fix a price, that takes place every time you want to hire an auto. Plus, if you don’t know Tamil (the local language) or look like you’re from out of town, then god bless you.

Ideal scenario (like what happens in any other “normal” place):

Passenger: Auto!

Auto screeches to a halt.

Passenger: Take to me to somerandomplace.

Driver: Okay/ No.

THE END.

THE Chennai Scenario – (Non-Tamilian passenger):

Passenger: Auto!

Auto screeches to a halt, right in the centre on the road. This is followed by a vigorous to and fro motion of the clenched fist with the thumb pointing skywards which means, “Where do you want to go”?

Passenger (screams): T. Nagar?

Driver: <Puts one hand to his ear and draws his tongue out making a ridiculous, monkey like expression>.

This when interpreted to any “human” language would mean that the driver failed to hear, thanks to the million vehicles behind him honking so mercilessly. They should realize that he is busy and trying to have a conversation. Insensitive lot!

Passenger (screams louder): Teeeeeee Nagar.

This time he hears it and comes over to the side of the road since the destination is worth going to. He gets out, ready for action.

Driver: T Nagar aaah?? (In Chennai, “aah” is the phonetic representation of the symbol “?”, like I have already mentioned in my post – My foray into the corporate world-post prologue )

Passenger:  Yeah!

Driver: T-Nagar blah blah blah? (This is followed by yet another vigorous to and fro motion of the clenched fist. This gesture means he wants to know where exactly in T-Nagar).

Passenger (composed): Anna. Sheraton towers. You go? (You have to talk this way to get them to understand).

Driver: Tower park aaah?? Anna Nagar aah?? (He points to the moon, which is to indicate that the place is really far away. An experienced passenger would know that this means he is mentally preparing you for a major loot)

Passenger (little less composed): Ille ille!! (no no!!) Sheraton towers. Hotel anna. Big hotel. T Nagar only.

Driver: Oooooohhhhhh!!! (He just had an Eureka moment plus the clothes, thankfully). Seri seri, polam. (come come, let’s go)

Then he casually goes into his auto and revs it up to show he is ready to go. This is the tricky part. If you haven’t dealt with the autos in Chennai, REMEMBER – NEVER GET INTO AN AUTO WITHOUT DECIDING ON A PRICE.

Passenger (still composed): Wait! Evalo?? (How much??)

He still keeps revving and looking dead straight, acting deaf.

The irked passenger taps the driver’s shoulder and asks

Passenger (kinda losing it): ANNA!! Tell evalo first.

Driver: You tell.

Passenger (still keeping the cool): No you tell.

Driver: Okay fine. <thinks> Give me 250 Rupees.

Passenger (frustration begins to creep in): 250???? What anna? 60 Rupees correct.

Driver: <More hand gestures follows to tell the passenger that he is crazy and out of his mind> 60 Rupees aah? Fine 240.

Passenger: 80 final.

Refuses and gets back into his auto ready to leave. Just as he starts his auto, he asks.

Driver: Final 150.

Passenger refuses and starts walking away.

Driver watches the passenger take 7 steps.

Driver: <SCREAMS> Saaaaaarrrr!!!  COME!!! 140 last.

Passenger (Pissed off now): 100 Rs final price Anna.

Driver: Come saar. Wokay (read okay).

Passenger (Kinda relieved) comes back

Driver: Come saaar. Sit. 130.

Passenger ( Loses it): What nonsense!

Driver: Okay 120 final.

Passenger (getting desperate): Fine!

THE END.

If the passenger is lucky, he would get dropped to the destination of his choice and for the same price agreed. If you think he got quite a bargain, you must know that the meter wouldn’t have read anything more than 50-55 Rs. That is how pathetic the auto situation in Chennai is and I wish you never have to go through this agony.

For the last 5 years, I have been overspending on these merciless yellow machines of Chennai like so many others. Their misdemeanours are no secret and they break rules with impunity. You try arguing or fighting back and they gather 10 other auto drivers and end up bullying you. Backed by powerful unions who are politically connected gives them the power to openly break the laws and do as they please.

During the course of writing this post, I came across numerous news paper articles and blogs which talk about this problem and inaction on the part of the government. Going by the track record of Tamil Nadu politics, which is perhaps the most corrupt in the country, no respite can be expected.  

And as usual, the common man suffers in silence.

Self explanatory.

Photo sources:

http://shaluhere.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/chennai%E2%80%99s-auto-rickshaw/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13657368@N00/2492735468/

http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Chennai/article799375.ece?homepage=true

http://totalgadha.com/tgtown/360degree/2010/01/16/chennai-auto-rickshaw-a-potential-gold-mine-for-banking-financebfsi-sector/

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is most corrupt of them all?

Think corruption and the first thing that comes to mind is the Indian politician. Corruption is a very integral ingredient of Indian politics, a fact I was aware since grade 2. My definition of a politician hasn’t changed much since then: they were (and are) really good and successful crooks, who excelled in the art of treachery and made enough money and contacts, to keep them out of jail and trouble.

The hue and cry over a minister being corrupt is all humbug. It’s actually amusing to see the astonishment and shock portrayed by the media, the opposition party and everybody else except one group. The one to complain should be the taxpaying common man, whose money is being stacked, year after year, in some bank, with pretty girls at the reception desk, in Switzerland. Then why is he quiet?

The common Indian man has learnt to insulate himself from such news reports because there is no good coming over losing your temper over a “petty” issue such as this. He knows that a politician is to corruption as a Tamilian is to sambar  or as a Gujrati is to dhokla. It’s bloody common sense man!

Be the change you want to see.

The Indian man is happy with his life, his new shiny 2 wheeler, a small house, his plump wife and children, rinku n pinku and their pet Pomeranian Ram Charan Singh. 

However, he would love to have better roads to ride his 2 wheeler, have electricity throughout the day so that his children can study and his wife can watch her favourite soap 3 times a day including repeats. However, he doesn’t think much about it because one gets what is in their “fate”.

In the name of “fate”, the common man has learned to ignore and accept the atrocities of our “leaders” and carry on with their lives. Why? Ask yourself the question, why?

Be the change you want to see.

Time and again, we have observed the victory of evil and powerful, over the good and weak. We live in a democracy of hypocrisy. It’s true that India is a people’s country, a few particular people. We have given up the fight, if ever there was a fight. Giving up is the most pragmatic solution. Giving up is the right thing to do for a common man. The ones who fight and often perish are foolish people, way too emotional for the real world.

Be the change you want to see.

Politicians are bickering on who is more corrupt of the two. Media, news, movies, sports, government and every other business which generates revenue is run by powerful PR professionals for their rich, influential clients. Journalists are being bought, scam after scam unfolds day in and day out but life has to go on. Why shouldn’t the clerk outside every government office still want his chai paani (petty bribe)? In all probability, he might have paid somebody off to get the job in the first place. He needs to get a return on investment. It’s bloody common sense man!  

Be the change you want to see.

Where is this post of mine going? I have no clue. I have no solution and I don’t even know the depth of the problem. But I can feel an anger burgeoning within me. I can feel myself turning into one of these pragmatists, beginning to accept the filth, feel helpless and blame it on “fate”. NO! I will not let this happen to me. I would prefer to be foolish, optimistic and with a belief that things will get better.

I want to see justice, see good, feel trust and live a clean life.

I am being the change I want to see, are you?

Picture Source: 

http://www.indiabuzzing.com/2008/06/30/alarming-level-of-corruption-in-india/

http://saveindia4future.blogspot.com/2010_05_01_archive.html

http://www.hitxp.com/articles/society/bribe-anti-corruption-movement/

http://krnraj.wordpress.com/

From a year to another...

src: www.webcooltips.com

Come end of December and everybody is in a mood to celebrate. The end of a year and the beginning of a new year could mean different things to different people. For some, it is a reason to celebrate the events of the year that went by and hope for a better year ahead. Few others, would consider it as an opportunity to start afresh, learning from the mistakes of the past, or dealing with a tragedy and taking this as an opportunity to move ahead with life. Or you could be one who wants to have a good time as this is the season when the best parties ensue and of course, there has to be the set of people for whom it is, “just another day”.

The run up to the new year is inundated with stereotypical events which haven't changed much since 1956. Magazines run a recap of the year’s major events, TV channels line up specials, marathon super hit movies, Victoria secret’s fashion show and so much more. How much do you think one can take in at one time? I can’t even enjoy a single program without wondering if I’m missing out something better.

Resolutions are made (and broken within 48 hours), drinks are drunk, dances are danced and everybody is happy and gay. However, how often do we look back at the year and think, “Okay, these are the important things that happened to me this year and will leave a lasting impression in my life”? I don’t know about you but I haven’t so far, so I’m going to do it this year and I am going to share it with you. I invite you to do the same. Let’s all see, if we do have a life after all.

My year in 2010:

• The year started off on quite an exciting note. I had my first job interview ever on 4^th January.

• Got my first job.

• FINALLY, after numerous extensions, gave my GRE (graduate record examinations) and was all set to go to the United States for my masters.

• Decided not to go for my masters and take up the job.

• Changed the plan. Masters was on again.

• Nope! Job it was.

• Finally put my foot down. Planned to take up the job and apply for my masters for the Spring of 2011. Everybody is happy.

• Had the longest break of my life since I was 4, for almost 3 and half months, during which I played so much of so many different sports and more than made up for the lack of it during college.

• In this time, I also tried my hand at blogging. Mom was so surprised initially, she actually thought I had stolen somebody else’s article from the internet. Got a great initial response and here I am, still going strong, thanks to your support and encouragement.

• Realized I enjoyed writing, something I had never imagined.

• Took up the job and threw the masters plan out of the window for a while.

• Got my first salary. Experienced the feeling of financial independence for the first time. Went to Mahabalipuram with friends to celebrate.

• Took parents out to dinner and also got mom something. I assure you, my dad will get his due really soon.

• Been at work ever since.

Ehh...the end! Holy shit! (Actually stuck here for 15 minutes)

That’s it? Well, my life isn’t as boring as the list makes it sound. I did have a crazy amount of fun in the meanwhile and did awful lot of other things too but nothing really important or new, which deserves a mention in this list.

A whole year of my life and to think that this is all I have done, doesn’t feel right. You know that feeling, when you stand in line for 20 minutes to buy a cup of coffee, finally get it, take a sip (feels like heaven), walk a couple steps away and drop it. That’s how I feel right now, except that it’s a million times more severe. At least, I can get back in the line for coffee but who is going to give me these days back. I’m never going to be 21 again.

No point crying over spilt milk, coffee in this case. So instead of being upset, I have made up my mind, that this new year, 2011, I am going to try lots of new things and make the most of my time to ensure that by December 2011, I have a list so long, that it gives anaconda a run for its money.

I wonder how many such years have I let go of. What started off as a casual blog post has got me into some serious thinking. I urge you to take up a sheet of paper, or open a word processor on your computer and make a similar list and see if you face a similar shock or have actually had a genuinely good year, one that you would be proud of. You could even share the list with me and the world to see and discuss the year gone by.

I don’t want this post to sound gloomy or play party pooper in this joyous season of celebration. I am happy to have at least realized what went wrong and realization is half the battle won. Now that half the battle is won, it calls for a celebration. Wooohooo party time!!!

This is Ashish Kalsi aka Gogo, wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas and a very happy and “eventful” new year.

Cheers! 


For cool 2011 wallpapers log onto http://www.webcooltips.com/18-creative-design-happy-new-year-2011-wallpapers.html

MY FORAY INTO THE CORPORATE WORLD – THE TRAINING

Before I start rambling, I have specific messages for my readers. Identify which category you come under and read the appropriate message. I know you are anyway going to peek into all of them so I’m not even going to try and ask you not to.

Regular Readers

The regular readers: Hopefully, a few of you have missed me and I apologize for the inactivity on my blog for almost a month. The corporate world is trying to screw me over but trust me, I’m fighting back.

The not so regular readers but who still like my blog: I’m sure you wouldn’t have even noticed the lack of activity on the blog but I’m back, alive and kicking.

Indifferent Readers

The indifferent lot:  You really think I have a message for you?

The ones who were glad I was gone: Too bad. Party is over fellas.

Now that we are done with the pleasantries, let’s get down to the real business.

The excitement of being in my first job disappeared faster than I change the channel playing ridiculous saas-bahu drama. The training period, as we discovered, was not very different from college, except for a few added advantages, which were neutralized by some new disadvantages. Here are a few of them:

Advantages:

1)    Paid to study. Really helps in motivation.

2)    Totally air-conditioned environment. Conducive to sleeping and passing time faster.

3)     Most time devoted to hands on experience; hence we didn’t have to endure too many boring lectures.

Disadvantages:

1)    CANNOT BUNK! This disadvantage can brush aside the entire advantages single handed.

2)     Need to dress up formally with a tie, 4 days a week. Might not sound like a big deal but it is pretty painful if you are not used to it.

The new boys at work

Since training was quite like college, with most of us actually from the same college, the atmosphere wasn't new or alien. We made the training centre our own. The administration ignored our boisterous and crass behaviour initially, attributing it to excitement of being in a new environment. They were under the impression that things would get back to normal in the course of time. They couldn't have been more wrong – we were just getting started.

The administrators were up for a shocker and I can’t blame them for it. The training centre is usually filled with nervous and scared looking grads, so much so, that trainers have to go out of their way to make these poor fellows feel comfortable.  However, our batch had a stark difference. We were a vociferous and riotous bunch, who were here to have fun while making that little money. A kind they weren’t used to.

The first month went like a breeze- we did our thing, the administrators and HRs did theirs, there was complete harmony in the disharmony. Life couldn't have been better. But what's life without a twist.

Things were beginning to change. There was an unusual silence that day in the office, the kind before a storm. For a second I thought I had come to work on a holiday. However, I soon realised that things were not all okay here. There was a shift in the mood. 

Those few nervous moments

I soon came to know that somebody had complained. It was college all over again – administration on our back, threats, rumours and total drama followed. The training had taken a whole new direction. People walking in groups were stopped and questioned, an idle terminal would require an explanation and that a high profile enquiry would be conducted to find the culprit who spat paan in the dustbin; events that were highly unexpected.

A couple of weeks to go, the exit tests would decide our fate, nobody wanted to mess around. There was an eerie silence in the air; supervisors would take rounds 7-8 times a day; juniors were asked to stay away from our batch or meet our fate.

We spent our last few days amidst threats and warnings, gave our tests and kept our fingers crossed. The “extension list” was quite an anticlimax. Most of the trainees had cleared the tests and would soon be mapped to various projects. Hurray! Not really. We were just waiting to be put on the bench and enjoy a few days of paid vacation.

Right through the training period, we were told, “The training is the honeymoon period, enjoy all you want, this would all change once you get into a project”.

Now that apparent "honeymoon period" is over, let’s see if this marriage is going to be a "lived happily ever after" or end in a divorce. Only time will tell.

Author's note: The other posts in the "My foray into the corporate world" series are

My foray into the corporate world – Prologue

My foray into the corporate world – post prologue

My foray into the corporate world – THE FIRST DAY