MY FORAY INTO THE CORPORATE WORLD – THE TRAINING

Before I start rambling, I have specific messages for my readers. Identify which category you come under and read the appropriate message. I know you are anyway going to peek into all of them so I’m not even going to try and ask you not to.

Regular Readers

The regular readers: Hopefully, a few of you have missed me and I apologize for the inactivity on my blog for almost a month. The corporate world is trying to screw me over but trust me, I’m fighting back.

The not so regular readers but who still like my blog: I’m sure you wouldn’t have even noticed the lack of activity on the blog but I’m back, alive and kicking.

Indifferent Readers

The indifferent lot:  You really think I have a message for you?

The ones who were glad I was gone: Too bad. Party is over fellas.

Now that we are done with the pleasantries, let’s get down to the real business.

The excitement of being in my first job disappeared faster than I change the channel playing ridiculous saas-bahu drama. The training period, as we discovered, was not very different from college, except for a few added advantages, which were neutralized by some new disadvantages. Here are a few of them:

Advantages:

1)    Paid to study. Really helps in motivation.

2)    Totally air-conditioned environment. Conducive to sleeping and passing time faster.

3)     Most time devoted to hands on experience; hence we didn’t have to endure too many boring lectures.

Disadvantages:

1)    CANNOT BUNK! This disadvantage can brush aside the entire advantages single handed.

2)     Need to dress up formally with a tie, 4 days a week. Might not sound like a big deal but it is pretty painful if you are not used to it.

The new boys at work

Since training was quite like college, with most of us actually from the same college, the atmosphere wasn't new or alien. We made the training centre our own. The administration ignored our boisterous and crass behaviour initially, attributing it to excitement of being in a new environment. They were under the impression that things would get back to normal in the course of time. They couldn't have been more wrong – we were just getting started.

The administrators were up for a shocker and I can’t blame them for it. The training centre is usually filled with nervous and scared looking grads, so much so, that trainers have to go out of their way to make these poor fellows feel comfortable.  However, our batch had a stark difference. We were a vociferous and riotous bunch, who were here to have fun while making that little money. A kind they weren’t used to.

The first month went like a breeze- we did our thing, the administrators and HRs did theirs, there was complete harmony in the disharmony. Life couldn't have been better. But what's life without a twist.

Things were beginning to change. There was an unusual silence that day in the office, the kind before a storm. For a second I thought I had come to work on a holiday. However, I soon realised that things were not all okay here. There was a shift in the mood. 

Those few nervous moments

I soon came to know that somebody had complained. It was college all over again – administration on our back, threats, rumours and total drama followed. The training had taken a whole new direction. People walking in groups were stopped and questioned, an idle terminal would require an explanation and that a high profile enquiry would be conducted to find the culprit who spat paan in the dustbin; events that were highly unexpected.

A couple of weeks to go, the exit tests would decide our fate, nobody wanted to mess around. There was an eerie silence in the air; supervisors would take rounds 7-8 times a day; juniors were asked to stay away from our batch or meet our fate.

We spent our last few days amidst threats and warnings, gave our tests and kept our fingers crossed. The “extension list” was quite an anticlimax. Most of the trainees had cleared the tests and would soon be mapped to various projects. Hurray! Not really. We were just waiting to be put on the bench and enjoy a few days of paid vacation.

Right through the training period, we were told, “The training is the honeymoon period, enjoy all you want, this would all change once you get into a project”.

Now that apparent "honeymoon period" is over, let’s see if this marriage is going to be a "lived happily ever after" or end in a divorce. Only time will tell.

Author's note: The other posts in the "My foray into the corporate world" series are

My foray into the corporate world – Prologue

My foray into the corporate world – post prologue

My foray into the corporate world – THE FIRST DAY

My friends. My life. My phone. My universe

Universe, the smart and some of the dreamy ones say, is the ultimate superset. Everything else is within it. What a ludicrous idea. I don’t care what’s beyond the clear blue skies, how many more planets or stars are out there, if there is somebody else like me in one of those planets, sitting there, sipping something similar to a coffee and writing a blog. Well thinking about it, I would be concerned if the blog is for the TATA DOCOMO One Touch Net Phone’s “Share Life” contest on Indiblogger, because that would mean me having more competition and lesser chances to grab that tempting prize money.

Sorry for the digression. The reason why I called it a “ludicrous” idea is because my universe is my life, with me being the core and my friends, family and the others being an intrinsic part of it. I believe (I’m not making this up for the contest), that a life not shared is a life not lived. You could be the most reticent of people but you would still want to share the happenings in your life, good or bad, with somebody, could be an imaginary friend, some stranger across the globe or even a diary. The point I’m trying to make is that, it’s a natural tendency for all and not a random idiosyncrasy.

The concept of “sharing life” wasn’t born with the advent of technology either. It’s been around forever. Some of the oldest sites of archaeological importance have painting or carvings that depict stories of day to day life. Why else would we make the lives of pigeons and eagles a living hell for so long by pestering them to deliver messages.

Luckily for us (and for the birds) things have changed and are consistently changing for the better. Family and friends to me, like for many others, is the most important asset in my life. Unfortunately, as time progresses, we move in different directions, distance increases and it’s so much more difficult to laugh, cry, fight and share so many other emotions. Step by step, man tried to bridge this distance (women, it’s figuratively speaking, so no offence). Telegraph, telephone, snail mail, cell phones, internet, email, social networking, etc are all attempts at this very cause.

Now we had the modes but too many of them and each of them required a separate medium and equipment. To overcome this paradox, a saviour was born - The Smart Phone. Life hasn’t been the same ever since.

Inflation and recession at the same time was God’s idea of a practical joke (it didn’t go down too well though). However, in the clouds of darkness there was a ray of hope. “Sharing life” was getting cheaper. Call and messaging rates were at an all time low, new services were being added and distance wasn’t a factor anymore.

The void in my life was being filled, my friends and family were a few button clicks away, the world wasn’t that big anymore and a sense of completeness, which I was craving for so long, encompassed me. However, it doesn’t just end there. The features and services are getting better by the day. With messengers like Yahoo available on your phone along with an array of other cool features, life can only get better.

With messaging costing peanuts and call rates lower than ever, I am constantly in touch with my loved ones and am in the know of what is happening in their lives. I visit a really cool place and I want my friends to know about it, all I have to do is take a picture on my phone and send it as an email. Or I could just put it on a social networking site and everybody could know about. I could be out all by myself but I know that I’m carrying my universe with me at all times.

I no longer miss my friends and family in spite of being away from them. It’s not that I love them any lesser but I have the means to make their presence felt at all times. Today, my smart phone is not just another member in my universe, it is the glue which holds my universe together. 

This post is written as a part of the TATA DOCOMO One Touch Net Phone’s “Share Life” contest on Indiblogger. If you liked the article, I’d appreciate it if you vote for me by clicking the “promote this post” button on Indiblogger and it might take me one step closer to the booty. I might just share it with you ;)

Cheers!

THE INDIAN ENGLISH

My knowledge, limited as it is, is aware of two widely spoken forms of English, the American version and the British version. Any reference to the Indian English till date, has been to ridicule the way Indians speak. This is my attempt at changing it.

English is a language I have always been comfortable with and the credit for this goes to my parents, who tried hard to make me at least half as proficient as them. A lot of my childhood friends are from different parts of the country, so we mainly conversed in English and that was another reason for me to presuppose my expertise in the language.

Oral communication (OC) is a vital part of training for any organization which deals with clients from all over the world. You can understand its importance in the Indian IT industry, which has a 99% client base abroad.

Confident strides, filled with conceit, take me to the room where my OC sessions take place, with a belief that these sessions are for the “lesser mortals”.

The first few classes went like a breeze and then along came phonetics. This is when my pride was murdered. My heavily accented trainer asked us to pronounce the first, relatively easy word, “hello”. The responses poured in, “Hell-o”, “Hellooo”, “Heyy loo”, “hi”, “what’s up”, “Namaste”.

My bewildered trainer goes, “Neo neo neo”! Neo? Under the heavy accent the NO turned into a NEO. In that American accent she further adds, “We follow the British English. It’s ‘hu-llo’. Say it with me“. British English in an American accent? Anyway, I got the first one right but I knew that this wasn’t going to be our regular OC class.

Word after word the situation kept changing. Initially, I just stuck to what I knew. After a point I was made to realize, that all of what I knew was wrong. Since tactic 1 wasn’t working out too well, I decided to twist and turn every word asked and add a bit of an accent of my own to please the trainer. Now, not only was I saying the words wrong, I was also making a fool of myself.

Russel Peters, the comedian of Indian origin from Canada, was sceptical before his visit to India as a lot of his jokes were on the Indian accent and he wasn’t quite sure how the Indian audience would react to them. But to his surprise, the Indians laughed harder than anybody else to these very jokes. He said, “It’s not because Indians have a great sense of humour but because they believe that they don’t have an accent”. Eventually, I realized how true this was.

Coming back to our session, after the torrid start, things started getting a lot comfortable here. After the entire ego bashing session, there weren’t any “lesser mortals”, we were all equal. Come on, we couldn’t all be wrong. The only person, who wasn’t in the same boat as us, was the trainer. As expected, our trainer was soon the target of the jokes. “She talks funny man. I doubt if it’s even right”. Every time she would pick a new word, we would laugh and turn to a friend and say, “Did you just hear that? Imagine us talking like that. People would think we are crazy”. So the session ended with us ridiculing all that we were taught and laughing at the “strange” pronunciations of the otherwise common words.

Studies point out that India is going to be the largest English speaking nation by 2025, so I feel we must be given some credit. Instead of trying to change the way a billion plus people speak, welcome a new standard of English, The Indian English. It could just be the the standard for the future. I can visualize the future president of America in a pensive mood, about to address the nation. He says, "The problem is coming fastly. We musht do something something to make it okay soonly. Okay? Ta ta bye bye". Don't give me that look. It might just happen.

My foray into the corporate world – THE FIRST DAY

After documentation and accommodation, it finally comes down to the day we were all waiting for – The First Day at Work. The beauty of starting off in a new organization is that you are like a blank sheet of paper. You can get rid of the tags and stereotypes associated with you in the past. In order to exploit this, we decided that we should reach our centre well within the stipulated time. To make this possible, we decided to sleep early. The plan sounded foolproof except that it was 1:45 am already. To ensure that we woke up on time, all electronic items with an alarm function, big and small, were collected, set and put into action. As I lay down, I had a smile on my face. In a few hours, a new life would begin and with that thought I drifted away.

I woke up with a start. The lights were on and I could sense activity. Was I late? Didn’t the alarms go off or did I just not hear it? But there were about a hundred alarms set. I panicked and scrambled around to find my phone. It read 4:45 am. I was up before time. Phew! But what were the guys doing up so early? Realization dawned upon me.

We are 5 guys and 1 bathroom (we are at a friend’s place temporarily). The first person gets the bathroom fresh, dry and most importantly, smelling good. So a lot depends on your position in the queue and what the previous occupants had for dinner. This being an “auspicious” occasion, it was important that you be in the top half of the list. I was surprised I hadn’t considered this while setting my alarm. However, as luck would have it, the water supply went off right when occupant number 1 was in a rather “strategic” position and he was stuck inside for an hour. Looks like I had the last laugh. The poor guy was the butt of all jokes (quite literally) that morning.Anyway, in spite of the initial hiccup, we managed to get ready before time.

With ties around our neck and pride in our heart, we set off for our induction (or inception as MS kept calling it) and reached half an hour before time. A good start.

All set to leave for work. From L - R: K, MS, me, M

During any transition phase, be it from school to college, college to work or from one company to another, one of the things we look forward to (or dread, depends on what kind of a person you are) is meeting new people and experiencing a new atmosphere. That probably adds to the excitement. I reach the place to find the exact opposite. All familiar faces, the usual banter and it felt like being back in college. With a majority of the trainees in my batch from my college, I felt at home.

After a rather arduous task of getting our offer and joining letters checked, a temporary ID was issued and we finally entered the building. At the security check we were informed that we weren’t allowed to take any electronic gadget inside except our cell phones. I realized that I was carrying my ipod along so I went to deposit it. After that, I put my bag through the scanner and as luck would have it, I was stopped. I was told that I was carrying a hard disk and a pen drive. Finding the hard disk wasn’t a problem but I thought I had left my pen drive at home. What was it doing in my bag? To make it more interesting, my bag had a hundred different sections. Do you realize how much more difficult it gets to find something when you have 5-6 angry, irritated pairs of eyes looking at you?  “Are you carrying an entire computer store with you?” my friends ask sarcastically. After a rather frantic search I find the drive and we rush to our room.

I have missed out one tiny detail. I actually came over to my friend’s place so we could go to work together for the first few days. I came carrying just one bag with all the stuff I needed for a couple of days and this is the same bag I was carrying today. I had emptied it and just took the files I needed. Or so I thought.

We sat through the first talk with rapt attention. By the time the second started, we were back to college mode.

After a while, we were free as we had to submit our documents. In the meanwhile, I opened my bag to put my pen in it and something caught my attention. I removed it and it turned out to be a tube of toothpaste. My friend next to me burst out laughing and soon everybody joined in. Next came out a tongue cleaner. Following that was a bottle of deodorant, my Burberry perfume, a cell phone charger, a rechargeable battery charger, rechargeable batteries, a 1 foot long comb, a trimmer and the list went on. Every time a new article came out, the laughter got louder and after a point we were all wiping the tears off our face.

I must admit that throughout the process of extracting objects from my “magic” bag, I was worried about something. A certain object. I kept praying that “it” wasn’t in my bag. But my friends were having a gala time and they wouldn’t let me stop. After a while, It seemed like I had extracted all the items and I was safe. That is when I felt it. My worst fear had come true.

I reluctantly took it out. In my hand was my underwear. Next second, all I could see around me, were people guffawing and we laughed till our stomach hurt. What a first day we were having.

Soon after, we got busy with the various formalities which seemed to go on forever. The cold I had wasn’t helping either and patience was beginning to take its toll. The day ended by 7:30 pm and we walked out satisfied and tired. We went out for dinner together and there was something unusual in our behaviour that caught my eye. In college, the minute we were out, we would remove our ID cards and shove them into our bags or pockets. But here we were, with loosened ties and ID cards around our necks, enjoying the occasional glance of the onlookers. It didn’t matter that the ID card was temporary and it was only our first day.

We just had a day that we would talk about for years to come.

My foray into the corporate world – post prologue

I promised I would be back after the search for accommodation and I have kept my promise. If you don’t know what I am talking about, click here : My foray into the corporate world - Prologue.

As expected, it wasn't easy. Nevertheless, it wasn’t the worst either. Thanks to my friend’s friend and another friend’s dad’s friend’s friend, life became a lot simpler (however complicated it might sound).

On day one, we had a car at our disposal and a “localite” friend to help us out with the language and location. 

I discovered two really interesting things

1)      The prices of real estate in the areas around the training centre, varies with the training period at TCS, Chennai.

2)      There is no such word as “localite” in the English language. I can see a lot of Indian eyebrows going up and saying “NO! That is not true. What is this useless fellow telling?” But it’s true. I didn’t know it either till I saw this little red line appear below my text. I checked up Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries to confirm*. How often do we use this word? Wow! And they say Indians cannot innovate. YES WE CAN (Obama style).

I apologize for the digression. We repeatedly hear that we are in the Information Age today and I got a taste of how true it is. I met a broker whose first question to me was, “TCS aah”. Oh by the way, “Aah” is the Indian phonetic version for the symbol “?”. So I said, “Yeah. How do you know?” To which he responds, “Full area only TCS. SRM aah” Well, I am from SRM University and I was getting a bit suspicious, so I slowly respond, giving him my special suspicious expression(see picture) and saying, “Yeah!?” He smiles knowledgeably and answers, “500 students SRM coming. After 2 weeks, new batch coming. TCS calling training prices going full high”. I was surprised at how well informed he was (though the figures weren't right) and looking at the Pulsar he was riding, I knew he was doing well.

Apparently, the prices shoot up to almost double when a new batch comes in for training. Initially, I was pretty happy that we were being given an HRA (house rent allowance) during the training period and optimistically thought that I could probably save a little from that for my pocket. How naive of me. Let me just put it this way: if my HRA and basic pay columns were to switch; only then could I afford a decent place to stay.

Luckily for me, I had a place booked through a friend, who was called for training a little earlier. It sounded like a fancy place. Television, AC (that too split, which is a pretty big thing here), lockers and attached bath for a price which would tempt anybody. I went to check out the place. It looked like any other PG/hostel to me, which I am okay with because it’s only for a period of 3 months. Anyway, my friend opens the door and I take a step in. That is where the room ended (and the place is called a “Mansion”). In the most brilliant and ingenious display of area management, they could fit in all that was promised and in a way that, you could reach any corner of the room by just taking a step in that particular direction. To its credit, it was a pretty clean and well maintained place and with its price tag looming over our head, it was too tempting to let go. So we decided to pay the meagre advance and book the place.

However, we decided to call this place “Plan B” and look on further with the hope of finding something better. Not today though. It was time for a nice dinner and end with that.

Day 2 started with the same enthusiasm but with a new entourage. To give us company we had a chauffeur driven car and another “localite” to help us out, thanks to my friend’s father’s friend’s friend. This time, we decided to make use of the ads on the local paper instead of a broker. We saw some really beautiful and some uninhabitable places but nothing seemed to work out. After an onerous task of house hunting (we saw 2 houses, 1 good and 1 bad), we decided to end the day at that. So we went for lunch, saw a movie, dinner and wrapped it up with another movie.

Day 3 began for M at 6:30 am and for me at 10 am. M had some other things to attend to and wanted to check out a few houses after that. I reluctantly offered to help him, which he refused since he had other company. Disappointed as I was, I lay in bed in an air conditioned room watching a movie on the LCD screen all day, while the others were busy house hunting. I get a call from these poor friends of mine in the evening to let me know that nothing has worked out. With that ends operation accommodation.

So looks like I will be moving into plan B for the next three months. That is not something I am looking forward to but I am pretty excited about something else, My First Day at Work and as you have guessed it already, there will be a blog post on how that went for sure.

Cheers!

* There are a few online dictionaries which say it is a legal word. But since the reputed dictionaries and Ms Word doesn't list it as a legal word, I am going with them. 

Disclaimer: This is strictly based on my experience and I am in no way complaining about the facilities or remuneration being provided to me by my employer. As I said before, I still LOVE you. Muah! 

My foray into the corporate world – Prologue

As we grow older, the frequency of “firsts” comes down drastically. This causes us to really look forward to newer things and experiences. I am on the verge of yet another crucial juncture in my life – My First Job. With THE day coming closer, I’m finding it difficult to contain my nervous excitement. How often have you heard people around you telling, “The experience you get at work is invaluable”? I think I am feeling it already.

For starters, I have come to realize that getting a job isn’t the tough part. It’s actually a piece of cake compared to the formalities you have to go through before joining the job. This in turn made me realize that I shouldn't trust the movies. In a movie, what we get to see in an interview scene is that, indubitably the protagonist gets the job and the interviewer adds, “Congratulations! You got the job. Join us from tomorrow”. Wait! Doesn't he have to go through all the formalities which would take him a thousand days? This simplistic approach of such filmmakers didn’t help my cause. You bloody incompetent movie men!

See, I am getting wiser already.

In the last one month, I have been preparing my set of documents as listed in the 6 ft long check list.

My document set includes:

a)      “Did you pass your grade 10^th and 12^th exam?” certificates. Dude! How would I go to college otherwise?

b)      “So you went to college, eh?” certificate.

c)       “I don’t believe you got through all your semester exams. Give proof” certificates.

d)      “Can you read a foreign language and still find the place you need to sign” document. This is the service agreement which went on for 5-6 pages, in the legalese created by lawyers to impose upon the world their importance.

e)      “You got to pay up if your son messes with us” document. Yeah, this was for my dad. What follows this is a series of documents that proves that my dad is “really” my dad. Oh and also if he has the money to pay up.

f)        “I think you’re a crook, scoundrel and a thief if you won’t sign this” document to prove that I have no criminal cases pending against me.

g)      “Swear that you didn’t cheat on me” document to let em know that I didn't take up a job in the months of uncertainty they left me post graduation. How insecure are you?

h)      “We have our eyes on you” document. The background check which states that they would stalk the hell out of me and dig out my past if need be and a countless more documents, that I just can’t remember at this point. 

In addition to this, I gave the biometric impression of my fingers at a security agency, needed  photocopies of all these documents attested by a gazetted officer, a few notarized and finally, signatures of a couple of witnesses, a doctor, few by dad and a thousand million by me. Phew!

However, for my support, I always had something which got me working on these documents with a smile. Every time I found I had something else work related to do, I would coax myself by saying, “Dude, you are going to be paid for this shit eventually”, and suddenly the work would seem a lot simpler. If there are any parents reading this, remuneration can be a great motivator. 

After all this, I am ready and in the city where I have my first REAL job. The next challenge in line is finding a place to stay. I’ll keep you updated on how that went.

Disclaimer: Especially if you are my boss at TCS. I love you and TCS and I am just about willing to do anything to satisfy you guys. I think you are just AWESOME and I am ready to go through a million more documents if it makes you happy.

Click here to go the next part: My foray into the corporate world - Post Prologue